The Old Hack

Good news for the Old Hack. Our house purchase will finalise on the 30^th April. More about house purchase generally in a future blog.

Bad news for the Old Hack. Telephone and internet connection will not recommence for about a fortnight! Bad management on my part? Well, for once, no actually. Regular readers of these pages will know that telephony in France is now the responsibility of Orange (see The Future’s Bright….)

The little house we’re buying belongs to a lovely French couple who have bent over backwards to help us with our move, supplying names of local suppliers, mechanic, doctor, dentist, etc. Because I have a constant need for internet and telephone connection, I asked if I could take over their telephone line. “No problem. Of course. Just telephone France Télécom and they will arrange it.”

A call to France Telecom told us what we should have guessed. The request must be in writing, and must be accompanied by an official form of identification. The request should also be backed up by a similar letter from the present user of the line (also accompanied by an official form of identification – in spite of the fact they have held the line for some years!)

The letter was written immediately (that is two weeks ago) and sent by recorded delivery. This morning I attempted to telephone the current house owner – only to find the telephone number “not attributed” according to a recorded announcement.

I telephoned France Télécom to ensure that all was well and that the number would be attributed to me on the 30^th April, as requested in my letter….. “Letter? You sent us a letter?” “Yes”, I explained, outlining my reasons for wanting uninterrupted telephony and internet services. “Oh yes. You want the same number? It will take two weeks.”

“Why then.” I ventured, “…does the Orange internet site tell me that if I know the telephone number for my new house, they can arrange immediate internet transfer?”

“Impossible. Two weeks.”

Experience has taught me the futility of arguing with authority here in France. Here there are two golden rules. Rule One: The official is always right. Rule Two: In the unlikely event of the official being wrong, Rule One applies.

I managed a weary, rather than cheery “Thank You” and, it being too early to open a bottle of wine, took a second strong coffee to calm down. I shall make the most of my next few days of internet and telephone access. After that there may be an enforced silence from me for a time.

There’s an orange painted wall in our new house which we had planned to repaint within a very short time of taking up occupation. I think I shall be tempted to paint it as soon as I enter the portals! The future’s bright indeed!