The Old Hack

“I don’t know what his beef was….”   These were the actual words spoken by the leader of the free world after his head had narrowly been  missed by a couple of flying shoes at a Baghdad press conference this week.  

 Anyone with even the vaguest knowledge of world affairs must find this the ultimate admission of blind ignorance by the man who led his country into the costliest, deadliest and most pointless war since Vietnam.

 Let’s see if we can work this one out for you, George.  Help put your mind at rest.

 Look behind you, George.  Do you see the weeping widows, the grieving mothers, the maimed children?  Are you really so blind?  Or are you just so evil that you really don’t care?

 Now who could possibly be so angry as to throw their shoes at the President?  Sure Muntadhar al-Zeidi, the Iraqi journalist was once kidnapped by Shiite militia.  Oh yes, and one time he was held and questioned by the US forces, too.  But what has that got to do with the Commander-in-Chief?  He only opened the door to overt terrorism by the warring factors.  I mean – he got rid of Saddam, didn’t he?  Surely the world should show only gratitude.

 Yes, George.  You do score points for getting Saddam out of power.  It’s just the fact that untold thousands of women and children died in the process that makes people a little bit angry.

 I’m pretty sure, George, that you didn’t arrange this farewell trip to Baghdad yourself.  You wouldn’t know how to find your way through Texas without a heap of advisors to point you in the right direction.  My guess is that one of your advisors thought he would play a final practical joke on you.  “Send the idiot to Baghdad and tell him they’ll welcome him.  He’ll swallow it.”

 And swallow it you did, George.  Just a shame your mouth wasn’t quite wide enough open to swallow the shoes.

 Still, you did give us cause to cheer in these times of hardship and recession, so thanks for that.