The Old Hack

I speak as an outsider, but doesn't the Christian faith put helping others first?  In the aftermath of the Haitian disaster I was struck by the missionaries queuing up for the first plane out and telling tales of their narrow escape.  Nothing about staying behind to help with the relief operations.

Seems to me that once these mealy-mouthed Jesus freaks have imposed their sick religion on the poor they're happy to leave them hurt, bleeding and dying.

Christian Aid?  My Arse!

This festive season, the Old Hack has enjoyed more than his fair share of the 125,000 tonnes of oysters consumed each year by France, Europe’s largest consumer of the bivalves. Oysters are a foodstuff I have always enjoyed but in the UK have seldom been able to afford. Supply and demand in France ensure good quality oysters are available at a reasonable price – and Christmas and the New Year are traditionally the times of year when most oysters are consumed.

Another traditionally festive food which I used to enjoy was foie gras, but I have ceased eating this since learning of the cruel farming methods used to produce it.

I mention this because until today I was unaware of the European Union’s approved method for the testing of oysters. Apparently every so often three mice are injected with an extract taken from the digestive glands of bi-valves (e.g. oysters, mussels and clams). If two out of three of the mice die within 24 hours of being injected, the oysters are deemed unsafe for human consumption and the area from which they were harvested is shut down.

Oyster Bed - Bay of Arcachon - Copyright Colin Morley 2009 

The issue was highlighted last August, when one of the largest and most prolific oyster beds in the bay of Arcachon was shut down by the authorities following the discovery of a significant presence of dinophysis, a form of algae that can cause illness in humans.

Bruno le Maire, French Minister of Agriculture and Fisheries, made his opposition known to the European Union, implying the test was unnecessarily cruel and saying: “We should be able to find a test that works better than the mouse test”

On 1^st January, the Ministry announced in a communiqué that with immediate effect the mouse test would be replaced by a chemical test throughout France. A delighted deputy mayor of Teich (Gironde), François Deluga , claimed: “This is a  great victory for our region, but above all for the oyster farmers who can carry on their business with more certainty and make up for lost sales.”

Olivier Laban, president of the regional shellfish association said: “This is great news. I am delighted that at last the promises of a politician have been kept.”

According to Bruno le Maire, the European Union will officially replace the mouse test within the next few weeks.

A victory for the shellfish farmers of France. A victory for the poor mice and selfishly (should that be shellfishly?) a victory for the Old Hack who can continue to eat oysters without condoning animal cruelty.

Just as an afterthought, though – Isn’t it cruel to eat live oysters?  I’ll ponder that one next year.

Today the Old Hack would like to express his congratulations to Messrs Parfitt and Rossi, founder members of Status Quo, on being awarded the MBE in Her Majesty’s New Year’s Honours.

Not only do we now appreciate the charitable activities of this pair of stalwarts, we also know that Rossi’s full names are Francis Dominic Nicholas Michael. I always knew that grey pony tail was a mark of class.

Seeing as the Honours, although nominally handed out by old Mrs Windsor, are actually recommended by the PM of the day, I have to express my surprise at the absence of the Arctic Monkeys from the list – or am I being a little churlish?

Back to class, though. The United States hands out National Medals for Technology, Science, etc. on the basis of merit. France confers the ‘Légion D’Honneur’ on its worthies – on the basis of worthiness. And Britain?  Britain bestows honours with anachronistic and frankly now cruelly tasteless reminders of colonialism such as MBE (Member of the British Empire) and OBE (Order of the British Empire) with the meaningless ‘Knight Order of the Garter’ etc. – according to class.

Recent years have seen the public invited to nominate their peers for honours and have also seen a much publicised and much welcomed increase in the number of ‘ordinary’ citizens honoured for their achievements. This is to be applauded. But for goodness sake why oh why is Mrs Bloggs, a housewife from County Durham who has fostered disabled children for thirty years worthy of an MBE while Lord Snooty, Chairman of the Acme Financial Foundation is given a knighthood or at the very least an OBE for his services to finance and business?  -  Worthiness?  Merit?  Or maybe just a lingering awkwardness at allowing Mrs Bloggs to rise above her “station” in life, as the appalling future monarch Mr Charles Windsor might put it.

Long may we continue to honour those in our society who have achieved great things in the fields of charity, medicine, technology or whatever. But let us bury this laughable Honours System in favour of something truly democratic.

New Labour, the ‘People’s Party’, first elected by the British public in 1997 has had nearly thirteen years in which to enact the will of the people in changing this system. But sadly the ‘People’s Party’ is just as beholden as the ‘Nasty Party’ to a dark and sinister class system, where the British people, unlike the French and Americans, remain ‘subjects’ rather than ‘citizens’.

A Happy New Year to all – including the Windsors. I shall be thinking of you on Bastille Day!

A full list of the 2010 New Year Honours can be found here

Today Plymouth nursery worker Vanessa George is due to face Bristol Crown Court for sentencing after being convicted of sexually abusing young children.  George pleaded guilty to the offences in the face of clear evidence against her.

 There will be little sympathy for a woman trusted with the care of tiny children who has abused that trust in such a vile manner.  To compound the offence, George has systematically refused to name her victims, leaving parents of toddlers entrusted to her care not knowing if their children have been subjected to abuse.

 Child sexual abuse by women has not been seriously studied in Britain, many people still believing that a woman’s natural maternal instincts preclude her from suspicion.  Clearly that was not so in the case of Myra Hindley, but even her horrific crimes did not provoke a serious scientific study of sexual abuse by women in the United Kingdom.

 By contrast, the Canadian Children’s Rights Council (CCRC) has published substantial research-based information on female sexual predators.  It is alarming that in many cases of sexual abuse by women no prosecution results because the victim is simply not believed.  It is also quite striking how sexual assault by women is reported.  When a male sexually assaults a juvenile, the words used in newspaper reporting tend to be ‘rape’, ‘assault’, ‘abuse’ and the like.   

 CCRC sites newspaper stories about the sexual assault of juveniles by women, together with the use of words and phrases such as: ‘slept with’, ‘affair’, ‘sexual relationship’ ‘seducing’ and ‘having sex’.

 Now that we are starkly aware that women like Vanessa George are just as capable as men of abusing children, it is time we started taking the matter very seriously and dealing appropriately with offenders.

 Preliminary research in the UK by the Lucy Faithfull Foundation estimates that up to 20% of paedophiles in the UK are women.  This compares with just 3% of offenders on the national Sexual Offenders Register.  The Plymouth nursery case has proved the existence of female sexual abuse of children beyond reasonable doubt.  It’s time to stop living in a fantasy world.  Let’s work to stop all child sexual abuse, not just 80% of it.

The news homepage of Orange, here in France, runs a daily survey about a topical subject.  Today’s is “should France introduce a law to ban smacking children”.

 The subject is topical because Paris representative to parliament, Edwige Antier, wants to introduce a bill which would ban all forms of corporal punishment, including smacking children.  Madame Antier cannot be called a liberal by any stretch of the imagination.  She campaigned actively in 2005 against a children’s book “Jean a deux mamans” (John has two mummies) which depicted a male child being brought up in a lesbian relationship, which she considered “marginal” and undesirable.

 She is, however, a practising paediatrician who has written many books and articles over a number of years and who believes unswervingly that children who are disciplined with violence will themselves be likely to turn into violent adults.

 As an expatriate Brit, admittedly living in the countryside and well outside the boundaries of any huge city like Paris, I am bound to say that my personal experience of the behaviour of French children as compared to British children is incredulity about how polite, respectful and community spirited they are.  Of course this is a subjective generalisation and of course there is naughtiness, petty crime – even occasionally violence – but the incidence of violent crime among teenagers has not reached the frightening proportions it has in many British towns and cities.  Maybe there are just too many criminal teenagers allowed to roam free in the UK?  Well actually, no.  In England and Wales there are currently over 3,000 young people in jail.  In France, with a not dissimilar population, there are 530 (Source:  The Open University)

 John Muncie, professor of criminology at the Open University, claims that: “There is no correlation between crime rates and the numbers in custody” adding that although crime rates have actually fallen, the number incarcerated has risen and continues to do so, with a very high rate of re-offending.  Says Prof Muncie: “Whatever the system is trying to do, it is clearly failing.”

 In Great Britain, smacking children per se is not unlawful, but if the child is smacked hard enough to leave a mark, then the parent or guardian administering the smacking is liable to a maximum five years’ jail.  There is much pressure for a law to totally outlaw the practice.

 So what is the greater deterrent to children and young people where violence is concerned?  The threat of being smacked by a parent or guardian - or the threat of being locked up in prison?  Are incarcerated British youngsters more likely to re-offend than smacked French youngsters?

 The question is a rhetorical one.  The results (so far) of the Orange poll are factual.  They are as follows:

To the question: “should France introduce a law to ban smacking children?”

“YES, IT’S TIME”: 3.7% “ DON’T CARE”: 1.65% “HOW RIDICULOUS": 95.28%

 I leave you to draw your own conclusions – debate very welcome.